To bink or not to bink!

Well ever since Brandon was born he just really disliked using a binky! I was ok with it cause I've heard all of the cons on starting a child with it and I was really happy that we wouldn't have to worry about any of that, but now that he's getting older and started to discover his hand. He has been trying to sooth himself with it and can't quite get the hang of it, so he starts to get frustrated and I end up feeding him. Even though its not his feeding time I know he's really just wanting that suckling feeling. When he's having a bad day I would feed him almost every hour and will only feed for about 5 minutes. He would end up falling asleep or calming down. So with that being said, I think that maybe it would be a good idea to just at least get him used to a binky so he's able to sooth himself. We've bought a few binks so far and he hasn't liked them. The closest one that he's liked we're the soothies from the hospital, but they were a bit too long and he would end up gagging on them. We went and got a smaller one and tried it out today and so far so good, he hasn't gagged on it yet, but was a bit hesitant when he realized nothing was coming out of it. He's a smart cookie I tell ya! I just hope that he will eventually take it so maybe it will help mommy catch a longer stretch of sleep at night ;)

Brandon at 8 weeks!

Now that I have this little man to attend to it's a lot more difficult to keep up with my blog.  I love blogging and keeping everyone up to date with our growing family!  It's also neat to look back at past posts and see how much we've grown!

Brandon had his 2 month check up today and besides the 2 shots that he got it went really well!  It's always so much fun to see how much he has progressed from his last appointment.  He will be 2 months old tomorrow!!  Here are his stats!

When he was born:

Weight: 6 lbs 10 oz

Height: 19 inches

At 8 weeks:

Weight: 10 lbs 0 oz 8%

Height: 21.5 inches 16%

Dr. said that he's on the small side, but his weight is finally getting up to the normal range!  I'm so glad that he's getting plumped up, cause I was really worried about my milk supply.  I recently just started to take fenugreek to increase my supply, now that I'm back to work.

I seriously can't wrap my head around the fact that I've been a Mom for 2 months, and along with that I haven't had more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep! I remember it being really tough for the first few weeks, I would have to nap with him during the day to function.  I think that cause I was still in healing mode my body craved sleep, but now it seems like 3 hours is enough!

We seem to have him at a pretty good sleeping schedule.  Here is what our night consist of:

9:30pm he starts to get fussy and sleepy so we get him fed all changed and ready for bed.

10:00-11:00pm he'll be in and out of sleep ( kind of like a pre-sleep before turning in)  I think it's because Josh and I are still up and stirring around in the living room. Change his diaper and we all turn in for the night!

11:00pm-2:00sh am sleep

2:00am wakes for some boob juice and we change his butt

2:45-6:00 sleep

6:00-6:30 he's up again for some boob and change him again

6:30-8:00sh sleeps some more

and by 8:30-9:00 he's up and ready for the world!

Now, every night is NOT always like this! Between the hours of 2:00-5:00 are the touchy hours, he sometimes gets fussy and stays up for the 3 hours!! Those are the nights where I want to scratch my eyes out! But for the most part he seems to distinguish that night time is for sleeping, so he'll just feed and go straight back to sleep.  I think I've seriously mastered falling asleep while sitting up!  

Favorite milestones so far:

He's starting to recognize Josh an I's voice and turning his head towards us when we talk to him.

He's smiling a lot!

He's cooing and saying "Aaahh" and "Ooooh"

He's starting to open his hands a lot more and starting to put it in his mouth

He has been really good at keeping his head up.

He loves playing in his baby gym!

He's so in love with his Daddy!

He's just too cute!

She works hard for the money!

Well I survived my first week of work! Even though it was only 3 shifts it was just enough to start off. I had a lot of people ask me if I was emotionally ready to leave Brandon while I worked. My response was yes and no, but more on the yes side. I had been out of work for almost 8 weeks. I didn't think that we could afford for me to be out of work for so long, but Josh made it possible by picking up extra hours at work! Brandon and I are very thankful for Josh and really appreciate all his hard work! We love you, daddy!

I was a little anxious my first day. I spent the night before frantically packing Brandon's bag! I wanted to make sure that he had everything that he could possibly need. I'm sure I could've packed a whole suitcase if I could! Getting ready for work used to only take me 30 minutes, but now with B I have to lot myself at least 2 hours! Sheesh! It would be a lot easier if josh was home to help, but he's already at work by the time I need to start getting ready. Trying to put makeup on one handed is quite a task! I wish I didn't have to put the thing on, but I can't go into work with a busted face and expect to make money! I got a kid that I need to put through college!

Anyway, when I finally got out of the house with baby and 2 bags in tow we got to my moms house and Brandon was so excited to see his Lola! I thought hat he would start fussing due to not being familiar with the place, but he took to being there right away! My biggest fear as a parent is Brandon being colicky with others. He had some issues with colic for a few weeks and just last week it just stopped! Thank god!! It was really hard and took a lot of toll on Josh and I, but we are just so thankful that our boy is back to his happy self!

After 10 goodbyes and countless kisses I finally left the little guy behind and headed to work. The ride to work was a quite. I remember getting a little frog in my throat when I looked in my rear view mirror and not seeing him back there.

When I finally got to work it felt so great! Everyone welcomed me with a warm hug and An "I missed you" it really made being away from Brandon a lot easier! I thought that I would forget how to do everything as soon as I got behind the bar, but it was the exact opposite! It all came back to me and I transitioned back into it like I never left! I got to see a few of my regulars and as a proud parent I bombarded them with pictures of him! One of them said "it's so nice to finally put a face to the belly!" that made me laugh!

After work I couldn't drive home fast enough! There is really nothing like coming home to my boys after a day of work. Just coming home to their smiling face is just priceless! I smothered him with kisses and feeding him was so calming!

I'm so happy be back to work! Its like having some a part of my life back that's mine. I've always been very passionate about my job and I'm glad to have adult time and take a break from being a Mom. I was talking to one of my coworkers Ashley and she made a great point, that having that time away from your child will make you a better parent! It will show your child the importance of hard work and independence...

I want to eventually go back to a full time schedule, but we will just have to take baby steps for now...

Fun is over... Back to work :(

Well after 8 weeks it's back to work for this new mom. I'm filled with a lot of different emotions. I thought that I would have a lot more anxiety leaving him, but knowing that Brandon will be in good hands makes the transition a lot easier! I am a bit sad that I won't be with him every waking moment, but I know that my sanity will thank me. I'm excited to go back and have adult conversations and fill everyone in on being a new mom!

I'm very fortunate to have my Mom, sister Jan, and Mamma Cherrie watch him while I'm at work. Brandon loves them so much and really enjoys being with them! I just know they will spoil him with so much love and attention! I just hope that he'll want to come back home to me when I pick him up!

Finally, back to normal!

I had my 6 week postpartum appointment today. Brandon came along and everyone there were so excited to meet him. Especially my good friend Tini, she has been working there for a few years now and it was nice to have her there and hold Brandon while I had my examination. Brandon just loved being held by her... He was so upset when we had to leave!

Anyway, the appointment went great. She asked about breast feeding and how I was doing mentally. She asked me if I have been crying everyday. Which I found strange but not. I'm sure she asked because I know that there are moms out there that don't bounce back as well as others. Now that I'm a mom I can see how some mom's don't recover well. The mental exhaustion that you experience is just indescribable! As well as the changes your body goes through! there is no way to prepare yourself for what you will go through when you become a parent. Ya, ya, you may try to read all the books and do all your research, but that definitely gets thrown out the window when the baby comes! The best advice that I ever got was "children will do whatever they want and you just have to try your very best to adjust to their needs." I feel like josh and I are doing our best to meet B's needs and feel like he's a pretty happy most of the time, but we're still learning.

Well, after the the exam Dr said that everything looked great and she cleared Josh and I to have "the sex" and she also said that I can go back to the gym with no restrictions!!! I'm so excited to get back into running and yoga!!! Woohoo! I'm only 5 pounds from my pre pregnancy weight, but would like to just get back into my running shape! Now, off to get some new running shoes :)

Cheap entertainment

Now that Brandon is getting older he's learning to smile, frown, and make funny faces! He's just so much fun to watch :)

We've got a cluster feeder!!!

I thought that he was just going through a growth spurt or that maybe he wasn't getting enough boob juice, but after doing some research ( like I always do) I've realized it not me it's Brandon!

Being a 1st time mom, I've learned that no matter how much you may think you know, you will always doubt yourself (especially when it comes to parenting). I always find myself double guessing on everything I do with him. I always ask myself
"I wonder if he's had enough to eat?"
"he's been napping for quite some time now, should I wake him up?"
"he's crying so much maybe I over fed him?"
"maybe my milk is giving him a tummy ache?"

Gosh, this parenting gig would be a lot easier if Babies came out knowing how to talk! Although, now that B is a little bit older I am now able to distinguish what cries are what. Ummm did you know that babies cry just because they're bored?! I sure didn't?! What the heck?!

Anyway, so last week I thought that Brandon has been going through a growth spurt lately, and let me tell you... He definitely is! He has been an eating machine! We've also started him on formula and he's been taking it like a champ! He's taking about 3 2oz formula in a 24 hour period. We were lucky enough to experience his first formula diaper!!! Oh boy was it rank! I've also noticed with formula he's not going poop as much and he sleeps a lot heavier through the night!

So lately he's been wanting to eat more often! He went from eating every 2-3 hours to EVERY HOUR! The nipskees are a bit tender once again! He usually does it around the same time every afternoon! From 11 am til about 5 is when he becomes an eating machine!! Here is an example. I would boob feed him for 40 minutes and an hour later he gets fussy and gets a 2 ounce bottle! He does this about twice a day!! Crazy right?! So in about a 6 hour span he eats about 11 ounces of food! I feel like that's a lot for a 6 week old baby! I guess they call this cluster feeding. Babies just don't eat for the sake of eating, they eat because their bodies need it. I have realized that I have been producing more milk when I pump. I seriously think that my boobs have a mind of their own. They just somehow know much baby needs! I'm
Seriously amazed by the human body!

Plastic or glass??

Well now that I'm quickly approaching my first day back to work I have been trying really hard to build up my milk supply for Brandon. Along with breast feeding pumping has also been a challenge. I was very discouraged in the beginning cause I would barely produce an ounce in one sitting! I tried everything... From a heating pad to even drinking special lactating teas. I would get so discouraged that I would dread even doing it...but knowing that I had to do it for Brandon I kept on and pushed through. I pump every other day now and am averaging about 2.5 ounces a session!!! I've realized that all I needed was to give my body some time to adjust. I've also realized that it helps to do it around the same time every session. Now with that being said... Seeing that Brandon will be feeding out of a bottle soon. I have been thinking more and more about what bottles I should use. I'm currently using the medela cause it's what my pump uses, but I've really been wanting to change directions and start using glass bottles. I've been doing some research and have really liked the lifefactory ones. I've also heard good things about the dr. Browns, but it doesn't have the silicone sleeve like the lifefactory does. Im very clumsy so I think that the silicone sleeves will help!! My good friend is currently using the Dr. Browns and she loves it. I got to try it out on her little one and the only thing that I thought would be a pain would be the weight, but it's something that I can easily get over. I'd rather worry about the weight of the bottle than the chemical leaching from the plastic ones! Oh decisions, decisions... If you or anyone you know uses glass bottles and have reviews about them (good or bad) I would love to hear about it!

Someone is not so newborn anymore...

It's official Brandon is now fitting into his 0-3 month clothes!!! When he was just born I remember him swimming in his newborn clothes, now he's too tall for them! It makes me so sad...i told josh "No way! Maybe the dryer setting is on high, making his clothes shrink?!" He just looked at me like I was crazy!

The one-arm bandit

Well the last couple of weeks Brandon has been super clingy! Getting things done around the house is nearly impossible without having to have him in one arm. Talk about some serious arm work out! Ya, he may only be 8 pounds, but holding him for hours at a time makes it seem like he's 20 pounds! I think I may be getting a mild case of carpal tunnel in my wrists! Damn you, Brandon!

Anyway getting things done around the house was really tough in the beginning, but now I've just learned to do it all one-handed! Although there are certain things that I refuse doing one handed, like going to the bathroom for instance... I really prefer to do that on my own, even if he has to cry himself blue!

So, the other day I remembered that we had a baby Bjorn!! Oh man, can I just say that that thing has been such a life saver! Being able to use both my arms have seriously cut my chore time in half... Hallelujah!!!! Aaand he seriously passes out so quickly that it saves me from having to rock him to sleep... which I'm sure my hips are super thankful for!

Russy on the other hand is not a big fan of the Bjorn. Now that I'm able to eat with both my hands the chance of food falling on the floor is slim... Sorry Russy 🐶

All-you-can-eat milk factory

Oh sweet lord! I've never felt so used in my life... Breast feeding is serious business. There are so many things to learn. I believe that breast feeding is half instinct and half doing your homework. I did a lot of research to ready myself for what may come. Ive read all the good and bad. Such as the positive nutrition gains and how it also toughens the babies immune system. I've also read the scary horror stories of your nipple possibly falling off from improper breast feeding. Ummmm whaaat?

I'm thankful that both my nipples are still in tact, but I did experience the cracking, pussing, and bleeding. There wasn't a day when I would just want to give up and just shove a bottle in his mouth, but after the first painful seconds of agony of him latching on, I am reminded that the bonding feeling is totally worth it... It's such an amazing feeling knowing that this little person depends on you to live a healthy and happy life.

I just wish that maybe someone would pay me to do it cause it seriously feels like a full time job! I find myself walking around the apartment completely exposed 80% of the time cause I feed him so often... And more so now cause he's going through a growth spurt! I feel like a cow!!! I've been keeping track of his feedings and if I did my numbers correct I average about 5 1/2 hours a day of breast feeding! Jesus jones that's a long time!!! I've always considered my boobs as one of my favorite parts of my body, but now I feel like they're not even mine! I use to think of them as sexy, but now I see them as a pair of milk sacks! Cool! Welcome to motherhood and all it's glory...I guess...

2 peas in a pod

Josh's Mom showed me this photo of Josh when he was a baby. Geez talk about twins :)

Pregnancy to Parenthood

The last 13 days has been such a huge adjustment for us. We could never imagine that a 6 pound baby could change our lives so much. Josh and I have exercised our team work to the max! We both depend so much on one another to keep Brandon clean, fed, and happy. Who ever said that parenthood was easy should be shot...but with the hardships comes such amazing rewards. His smile and watching him grow is worth the lack of sleep and freedom.

We originally started this blog to keep our family and friends updated with our pregnancy, but now that Brandon is here we've decided to continue it to keep our family updated with Brandon's growth as well. 



We hope that you all will continue to keep up with our family. Here's to a new chapter in our lives...happy new years everyone :)

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37-38 weeks

Well, I never got a chance to do a final update. I will try my hardest to remember what I was going through those last weeks.

I just remember thinking that regardless of how big I got or how uncomfortable I began to feel I was going to finish this pregnancy with a positive attitude. I also didn't want to remember the last leg of my pregnancy being bad.

I tried to keep myself busy with stuff around the house and worked until the very very end. I knew that since my c-section date was fast approaching I wanted to make sure everything was ready to go and the list of things that we needed to do was done and crossed off.

Due to Brandon being breech I went back to my OB. I was really sad that I wasn't able to go through my original birth plan, but both Josh and I knew that this was the best decision all around. Brandon pretty much made his own birth plan!

After talking to my OB she knew that I was a little heart broken, so she promised me that she will make sure that one of my midwives will be there during my c-section. She was so sweet to do that! That really eased a lot of my anxieties about the surgery.

After about a few days I began to accept my c-section. I actually started becoming more and more excited, cause having a scheduled birth just throws the guessing game out the window. We knew what time and date we were going to meet him. We were able to plan out what we wanted to get done and even have a our final date night.

I also wanted to spend more time with my close girlfriends before Brandon came. I know that as soon as he comes, catching up over dinner and meeting up for late night happy hour will be replaced by catching up on sleep and late night feedings. I guess I just really wanted to soak up the freedom of pre-parenthood. I know that they will understand the reason for my MIA at times, but I just really want to let my girls know that I really cherish my time with them.

Brandon so far (at 38 weeks)

Weight: 6.8lbs

Length:19.5 inches about the length of a leek

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Mommy and Daddy's letter to Brandon

I saw this idea a long time ago and couldn't wait to do it!  So as a little addition to Brandon's room Josh and I decided that we were both going to write him a letter and frame it.  I thought that it would be a great way to really show Brandon how much his Mommy and Daddy love him.  Josh and I came to an agreement that we were going to wait to read until now.  Oh, man talk about waterworks!   Anyway, we can't wait until Brandon is old enough to read and understand it.  He is one loved dude!

Maternity leave letter...

I just wrote my formal maternity letter to my boss, and I'm not gonna lie, but I got a little teary. Oh gosh, It's really starting to hit me :)

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35 & 36 weeks

Ok, Slacker Mcgee over here!  I'm sorry I haven't gotten a chance to do my weekly updates.  It's getting down to crunch time and it's been pretty crazy around the Roque household!

Again, I'll be rolling 2 weeks into 1 post!  So here we go...

As of the past few weeks we've had some good and bad news.  Everything with Brandon is fine, but all the other stuff is not going as well as we expected!

So, you all probably know that the big issue right now is that Brandon is presenting breech, and being so close to the end this is something that my midwives are very closely monitoring.  We had an ultrasound and the tech found that not only was he still breech, but his fluids were low as well!!  Geez, give me a break will ya? I was measuring at a 6.2 and the normal AFI levels are 8-18!  My midwife told me that if I had measured at a 5 they would've admitted me right then and there!  My heart literally jumped to my throat! I had no idea how this could've happened?  I felt like everything was going well and wasn't having any strange symptoms. Now with those 2 things against me, they decided that I have to go in twice a week for a non-stress test.  A non-stress test just monitors his heart beats, movements, and contractions.  I don't mind it, but I do mind that I NOW have to start going to the hospital 2x's a week and add my weekly check-ups, so that makes it 3! 

My midwife suggested doing Moxibustion.  I mentioned this in my last blog in the "A day with nikki."  Anyway, we started doing it that following Friday and did about 6 rounds.  I felt like he was moving a lot, but I didn't really feel him "flip" so to speak...That following Monday we had our 2nd ultrasound to check for his position as well as my AFI levels.   I was so nervous cause I knew that he was still breech...when I they did the ultrasound the tech confirmed that he was still breech, but my AFI went up to 8.2!  Thank you, God!!  After that I had another NST everything was going good until she says "oh you're having a contraction!" All I felt was my tummy expanding and Brandon pushing down on my bladder!  I though "gee, if this is what contractions feel like, then I'm golden!" But I knew as soon as I said that I had just totally jinxed myself!  SOoo, at my next NST I had an even bigger contraction, big enough to where it took my breath away (not in a good way either!).  It was pretty cool and scary at the same time!  I can't even imagine how bad it will feel when they're the real ones! Yikes!

 Overall I'm still feeling pretty good!  I just feel more tired and try to sneak in a nap here and there.  My last week of work will be next week.  I'm excited and sad all at the same time!  I will miss being on my feet and just being able to socialize!  I love my job, but I don't love that it takes such a toll on my body now!

My appetite is still monstrous!  I hear that baby boys weigh in a lot bigger than girls do, so maybe he's having a huge growth spurt?  I'm up 22 pounds from my pre-pregancy weight, which I feel really good about!  Although I do have 3 more weeks to go, so who knows I just might blow up towards the end!  

We pretty much have everything checked off on our to do list!  His nursery is finally complete.  We decided to rearrange some decals on the wall and add a tree decal as well!  It's so cute!  I'll post pictures soon.  Our hospital bags are packed and door side just in case he decides to come early!  His car seat is installed and ready in Daddy's car.  We have our list of people to call, and a Russy sitter!

The very last and important thing is that tomorrow we are scheduled for an external cephalic version to get Brandon to turn head down.  We had our pre-consultation with our OB today and she informed me of what to expect and the side effects.  She told me that "You are now learning your first lesson in parenthood...children will do things on their own terms." She was totally right!!!  What a little stinker!

After our talk I got very nervous, and had a huge breakdown when I got into my car!  I called Josh and he made me feel better.  I had so many thoughts running through my head!  I thought about all the what if's and Josh was very quick to tell me that thinking that way will not help our situation.  That whatever happens we just need to accept it and move on...  So, now we're kinda sitting on the fence seeing what route we will be taking as far as delivering him.  If they do the procedure and he doesn't turn, then we will be scheduled to do C-section, but if he does, then I will be able to deliver him vaginally!  Either way he's gonna have to come out.  I'm sad to say this, but I feel like the natural birth that I had intentionally hoped for is starting to slip through my fingers.  Oh, well...

Brandon so far (at 36 weeks)

Size: 18.75 inches about the size of a crenshaw melon

Weight: 5.75 pounds 

According to thebump he is getting closer and closer to being able to breathe on his own.  His skin is geting smooth and soft and her gums are rigid. His liver and kidneys are in working order.  Circulation and immune systems are basically good to go, too!

36 weeks and 6 days

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17 days and counting!

I officially put in my request for my last day at work!  I've always thought that I would try to work until the end, but for how physically demanding my job is, I've decided that it would be better for me and my co-workers if I don't.  I can tell now that everyone seems to worry about me.  They worry that I will go into labor any time during my shift.  I don't blame them, cause I DO have this crazy feeling that my labor will start at work!  Now, a lot of my co-workers don't have kids yet, and I think that they have this phobia of me going into labor at work and them having to drop everything they're doing and take me to the hospital!!! Kinda like how they show it in the movies, ya know?  I think that's what everyone visualizes when a woman goes into labor.  I've talked to a few of them and try to inform them that that's not the case at all.  If I begin labor at work, the chances are that he wont arrive for a few (wishful thinking) hours, so I will have time to call Josh, have him pick me up, and head to the hospital.  I try to stay calm at work to not freak them out...I've also realized to not to say the following:

"OH MY GOD!"
"OH SHIT!"
"UH-OH"
"OUCH!"

Those phrases kinda puts them on the edge sometimes!

Anyway, I was a little sad, yet excited when I put in my request.  Sad because I love going to work and will miss having my daily conversations with my co-workers and regulars...excited because I know I will meet my little guy soon!!


17 more days....

Happy birthday, Josh!!

Happy birthday, to my sweet husband!  I felt a little bad that I wasn't able to plan anything big for him.  The arrival of Brandon has currently taken over lives at the moment, but I hope that his present from Brandon and I made up for it!

All our bags are packed...and ready to go!

Josh and I can finally say that we are all set. We finished packing our hospital bag last night. It felt kinda like packing for a vacation, but a bit more exciting cause we know that we'll be coming home with the ultimate souvenir :D We are so ready and excited!!!

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